Last night I came home from a leader's meeting and walked into the living room to see my wife holding my son. He was almost asleep, but when he saw me he got this big goofy grin and said "Daaada!" My heart broke as my son reached up for me and decided that I was just what he needed to finally fall asleep. As I sat there holding him, all was right in the world. Nothing had really changed. It was just my son and me, sitting there on the couch. But because it was my son and me- everything was perfect. I just sat there and held him until his breathing became slow and deep. It was quite literally perfect.
I got to thinking- "Is this how God feels when we come to Him?" I wonder if He just wants us to sit in His lap and be with Him- no grocery list prayers, no worries or cares, just time spent with Him. I wonder if we've made it too complicated: We have to sound a certain way or we have to act a certain way...then we carry the guilt and shame of not living up to being like Jesus.
In John 15 we see Jesus talking about our relationship w/ Him and the heavenly Father. He uses the metaphor of the vine and branches. He tells us that we are to "abide" or stay close to Him and that HE will grow the fruits in us. He tells us that apart from Him, we can do nothing. It is this connection to The Vine that we draw EVERYTHING we need in this life. I can not be like Jesus- it's impossible. My absolute best efforts are like filthy rags in His sight. Apart from Him- I can do nothing. What a freeing thought.
It's not up to me to be better or different. All I have to do is stay close to Him. I do this by reading/meditating/memorizing His words. Allowing them to penetrate my very soul and then and only then will I stay close to Him. That's when real life change occurs and I begin to see the world through my Saviors eyes.
As I sat on my couch, holding this sleeping treasure, I kissed his little mouth and thanked God for what He gave us. My heart was aching at that moment and I honestly thought that if I could do this with my Father I bet He would feel the same way; that if I just came to Him to be close, without an agenda or list, that He would hold me the same way. I bet He would just hold me until my breathing became slow and deep and that He would look at me with a love that caused His heart to ache; that He would kiss my mouth and be thankful the I am His. What a freeing thought.