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He walked into the church in full on Gothic mode.  His hair was spiked to kill and it stood a good 6 inches off the top of his head.  His long, black trench coat covered his heavily chained pants.  His military style boots clomped into the church foyer and his pentagram necklace glinted eerily in the light.  His black eye make-up was merely an afterthought in the ensemble.

This is the first time that I met Shawn.  He was a student in a ministry of mine.  He was one of the most challenging kids in my time of student ministry.  And not because of reasons you might think.  Shawn and I became close friends and I actually spent a year teaching and mentoring him in the Scriptures.  The challenging part was the rest of the church.

I can recall the senior minister at that time calling me to a meeting where he asked me to tell Shawn not to come back because he could be a bad influence on the other teens.  I was shocked.  Was Shawn not the reason that Christ came?  Wouldn’t Shawn be the very person that Jesus would sit down to eat with, to spend time with?  Shawn was a teen on the margin and acted accordingly.  His get-up was nothing but shock value and underneath was a kid looking for acceptance and love.  Fortunately, I didn’t have to push back too hard because the other students in my ministry did that for me.  They truly loved, accepted, and befriended Shawn.

And this is an unfortunate reality in our church today.  The hidden side-ways glance, the hushed whispering, the uncomfortable hand shake and the fake smile are a welcome that many people get in churches all over the country today.  Many churches have the feel of a social club rather than a refuge for a broken people.

Today’s culture looks at Christians as judgmental.  I resent this label.  I have walked in those shoes and it has caused me to sympathize and empathize with those on the outside looking in.  But I do understand that there is truth in this generalization.  I realize that the church has wounded many people with an unforgiving attitude or a carelessly used phrase.

We, traditionally, have been quick to judge those that think differently than us.  You believe that this did or didn’t happen?  Well guess what?  You’re out of the club!  Often times, we have represented the Bride of Christ as a sulking child; running home whining, ball in hand. 

This unfortunate attitude has spurred thinking and phrases like, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”  And we worry about validating someone’s lifestyle if we show them too much love.  But is this the way Christ lived.  Is this the way Christ intended His Bride to behave on His behalf?  

Look throughout Scripture and you see Jesus loving people regardless of station.  He loved them right where they were, no reservation, no holding back, unconditional.  He loved them recklessly and pursued them relentlessly.  He loved them too much to leave them where they were.  His love showed them a better way to live.  They loved to be around him and him them.  Can the same be said of us today?

Let’s look at the church’s response to the gay community.  When the aids epidemic hit in the 80’s, what was the church’s reaction (overall)?  It was God’s judgment on the heathens and they deserved it (I remember this as a young boy).  Whether or not it was something God was using to call people to repentance is not for me to decide.  Nor was it the church’s responsibility to read our Lord’s mind.  No- it was the church’s job to love these people whether they ever accepted Christ’s forgiveness or not.  It was the church’s job to show compassion and mercy.  It was the church’s job to show them, in love, a better way.  Instead, the gay community was met with ridicule, hatred and judgment.  It caused so many wounds that it has taken until just recently that we have been able to build back some of those bridges.  And even then, there is still fear of being hurt.

The words that Jesus used to those on the outside were words of inclusion.  The woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, Zacchaeus, his own disciples, the demon possessed man, on down to the people that he chose to dine with.  All were included in His group of friends.  Even in the Sermon on the Mount- His inauguration speech if you will, He starts with “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for yours is the Kingdom of Heaven.”  A crowd of people had gathered to see if this was the man to lead them to dominance and His first words were of the despised, the broken, the downtrodden and how the Kingdom is for them?

Right here is where we have somehow gone astray.  Right here is where we, at some point in time, forgot about God’s grace; if the Kingdom isn’t for the poor, the oppressed, those on the margins, then it isn’t for anybody.

And here’s where an amazing opportunity comes.  I can’t tell you how many times I and others I know, have had people make remarks about how we didn’t fit their idea of what a Christian was.  When we plug into the Vine (John 15) and allow Him to be our sustenance, people will stop seeing us and start seeing Jesus.

If you and I can be a part of bringing Shalom to our neighborhoods, then we can begin to change this perception that the Bride is only for those with membership cards.  And maybe, just maybe, people will begin to rediscover who Christ is and what His followers are all about.

Blessings

UnChristian?

I look at the state of the Church in the United States today and I see many things, some good and some bad.  I’m encouraged by the passion of our church’s leaders today and the ability to mass communicate with each other and to the world.  It pushes me towards good deeds when I read the blogs and posts from other men and woman around the country.  I am stretched and taken outside my comfort zone when I’m able to converse with those who don’t share my personal take on theology and look at Scripture slightly different.  I am a better person and pastor for having had these experiences.

But something I see deeply troubles my soul.  It’s not new or unique to us or the Western church.  But I do see it.  The Church is dumb.  I realize that this is a broad generalization, but just bear with me.

I see an entire generation of people walking away from the church.  They look at the institution that is His Bride and realize that there is nothing there that the world isn’t giving them.  They see no difference.  They see families divorcing, sexual sin running rampant, moms and dads stressed to the breaking point, they hear sermons and lessons teaching them to behave, and they are walking away.  

They see a church that no longer has any fear of its Creator.  We’ve lost our awe and reverence and the world can tell. 

 I see it in the student who sits and listens year after year, and continues to drink and sleep around.  I see it in the parent who bends over backwards for a RECREATIONAL sport but puts little importance on the coming together corporately to worship Christ.  I see it in the family who can’t understand why their student doesn’t like coming to church even though there is no transformation in the life of the family.

How are we to tell people the good news, when on a large scale we can’t embody the good news?

In the book “UnChristian” a study was done with the help of Barna research.  That study asked what were Christians known for.  The answers were:

• ·         Against Gays
• ·         Judgmental
• ·         Hypocritical

OUCH!  That has to hurt.  At what point in our history did it become ok to be known as against?  Wasn’t Jesus known for loving and reaching those on the margins?  Didn’t He use words of forgiveness and inclusion when talking to those on the outside?  Didn’t He call them to a better life after having shown them love?  Didn’t he eat with tax collectors, prostitutes, and sinners?  Didn’t he tell religious leaders that he came for the sick?  So how is it that we have fallen so far from the mark that our reputation is more like Westboro Baptist and not that of Jesus Christ?

I believe it is because the church is dumb.  There is an overall ignorance of Scripture that is crippling our influence in society and in the lives of our communities.  Our people no longer read and meditate on God’s word.  James 1 describes this as someone looking in a mirror and walking away, they immediately forget what they look like.  That’s a ridiculous analogy.  And I have to believe he made it ridiculous because in his mind it would be ridiculous for someone to say they are a follower and not read the Scriptures.

Over the next several weeks, we will be looking at how to reverse this trend in our lives and how to stop the mass exodus of mosaics and Gen Y from the church.  Some of it will be difficult and require sacrifice.  Some will be very hard for me because I’m guilty of it and I’m not looking forward to exposing my own shortcomings.  But if we don’t ask the hard questions and really search for the answers, we risk becoming an afterthought in the collective mind of an entire generation.

Blessings

Jesus & Sexting

What would Jesus say about sexting?  What would he do, if a parent had come up to him in the 1st century and said, "Lord!  My daughter hast senteth out pictures of her nude form on her cell phone.  If you are willing, make those pictures disappeareth." (King James added for effect.)

Would he have commended them for their faith and done what was asked?  Would he have asked to talk with the young woman and young man involved?

And what would the reaction of the town's people be?  Remember that people then were not as tolerant as they are now.

So when different issues pop up, I find that it's always best to go to the root of that particular issue.  And the root of sexting is sex. Sex is a powerful thing.  It can enhance a relationship in a Godly context but it can also literally destroy lives and  tear families apart.  How many of us know people who's lives have been altered or even ruined because of sexual sin?  Most of us do.

Jesus' response to a woman caught in sexual sin is enlightening.

In John 8 we see a woman that was trapped in a sexual sin and caught by "religious" men in the community.  They were ready to kill her.  They actually threw her at Jesus feet and tried to trap him with the laws of the day.  He didn't respond right away.

Jesus is a funny guy.  I imagine that as he sat there playing in the dirt he was chuckling to himself as the "religious" men grew angrier.  Then he spoke.  And when he did, it changed everything.  That's the thing about Jesus, he really never does what we expect but when he does act; it far exceeds any expectations we might have had.

He asked the men if they had never sinned.  I believe there may have been a little sarcasm there, but I'm not totally sure.  Then as the men walked away, he looked at that young woman and responded with love.  He told her to get up and leave the life she was in.  The implication being to live a better way.

So then, as parents (who are first and foremost Followers of Christ) how are we to respond to something like sexting?  I believe we respond out of love.  We must be willing to do the uncomfortable to show our children that love.  We have to initiate the conversation and be pro-active in monitoring what's on our student's cell phones.  We respond out of love by teaching and showing our kids that they are not an object to be lusted over, but rather a person- a human being- to be respected and treated with kindness.  We respond out of love by modeling Godly values in our own lives and running (1 Cor. 6) from sexual sin. We respond out of love by living Christ with our kids.

Oh...and to answer that question as to how Jesus would have responded to sexting.  I think he would do much of the same.  He probably would have done something we didn't expect; something that would throw us off our guard; something that communicated love.  He would have done something that told those kids that He came to give them life, and that this wasn't it. 

And I think he does that everyday through parents like you and me.

Blessings

Muffin drinking

This morning I'm working from home because our littlest one is sick.  At this very moment he's laying on his little bouncy seat watching Elmo.  He even has his little hands behind his head!  It's all very cute.

It got me to thinking when the last time I just stopped.  It's been awhile.

Yesterday Kendall, our Senior Pastor, talked on living a life of gratitude.  Luke 17 tells us that ten men with leprosy called out to a traveling Jesus for healing.  When he told them what to do to be healed, they did it.  But only one man came back to give praise.  It's an all too familiar story.  Not the healing, but the gratitude.

Just look around you right now.  What do you have that you just forget to see?  Your house?  Your car?  How about your job?  Your kids?  Your school?  When was the last time you were thankful for your shoes or socks or underwear?  Many go with out these things.

That's the problem with our blessings, after a while they can become common place.  We would do well to remember that whether it's manna from heaven or the belt you use to hold your jeans up; all that we have comes from Him.

So today, my plan is to work from home.  But it's also to stop and just be thankful.  How can I not when my son is sitting next to me trying to drink his muffins!

Blessings

Honoring one another

During my freshman and sophomore years in high school, I played on the basketball team.  I really enjoyed playing, but wasn’t the most talented of players.  I had to really work hard, run hard, rebound, and play defense to have any shot of making the team.  So that’s what I did; I worked hard.  I went all out, all the time.  I eventually played my way into a starting role, but it was short lived.

I was never very good at creating scoring opportunities for myself.  So I talked with our freshman and JV coaches and asked what I should work on over the off season for next year.  The JV coach’s response surprised me. 

 He said, “Scoring is the name of the game.  Work on your shot.”  

Now maybe it was a clash of philosophies but I had always been taught that defense wins championships.  So when he said this, I thought- “This guys has no clue!”  But he was the coach, so that’s what I did.  I practiced all summer.  I shot hundreds of jump shots all over the court.  I was in the gym at 6 am before work and went back after work.  I shot until I literally couldn’t lift my arms.

Try outs for JV and varsity came quickly.  I made the JV team and this time I had a nicer shot than the year before.  My hard work was paying off.  I remember one particular scrimmage where I drained six 3 pointers in a row, missed one, and then rattled off another three before the scrimmage was over.  Yet, for some reason, it wasn’t enough.  I couldn’t understand.  And my response wasn’t very mature.  I started bad mouthing the coach to other people.

After a particularly difficult lose (one in which I didn’t get a lot of playing time) I was mouthing off to one of the other players when I heard someone call out behind me,

“Smith!  What did you just say?”

I turned around and there was the varsity coach, staring me down.  I had a choice:  Apologize and hope for the best or stand my ground.  I chose the latter.  So I looked right back at him and said,

“You heard me.”

That game was the last game I would play in high school.   Oh, I got slop time.  But I never played in any real contest again.

The real problem wasn’t what the coach was or wasn’t doing, it was my disrespect.  Whether I was justified or not is irrelevant.  I was to honor my coach because he was my coach.

Take a look around; honor is not something that is a highly valued commodity in this culture.  Getting mine is something that is held in high regard.  If you disrespect me; I’m coming at you hard!  You have to give respect to earn respect.

These are not concepts that should be in the life of a follower of Christ.  We are called to honor.  Regardless of the person, we are called to show respect and honor to all.  We are called to treat others better than ourselves.

Romans 12:10 says “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”  There is almost no better example of this than Samuel.  In the book of 1 Samuel we see Samuel living with Eli and his sons.  While Eli’s sons are off doing whatever they please (and Eli not really doing anything about it) Samuel chooses to honor his adoptive father and family above himself.  If you look in chapter 2 and verse 26, it sums it up nicely.  “And the boy Samuel continued to grow in stature and in favor with the LORD and with people.”  This is said after it talks about Eli's sons sleeping around and doing harm to God’s people.  It was because Samuel honored God in his dealing with his family that God blessed him as he did.

There’s a real important lesson for us as parents/ grandparents/ aunts & uncles/ guardians to implement in our lives; to honor others.  That takes a lot of humility to do though.  Proverbs 15:33 says “…humility comes before honor.”  We have to humble ourselves on a consistent basis to do this.  It’s vital our children see this in our lives.  How can we expect our children to develop this in their lives if we are not willing to live it out in front of them?

Think about it.  What’s your response when someone cuts you off in traffic?  How do you respond to some that’s being rude and inconsiderate?  How do you talk about people you may not like, when they’re not around?  What are the things you say about your boss, while you’re home?  And what do you say about elected officials around your kids?

All of our behaviors leave lasting impressions on our kids.  If we want our children to honor others (especially people in positions of authority) we must model it for them first.  We cannot expect for our kids to just suddenly start doing this on their own.  It starts in the home, and more directly- it starts with you.

Blessings

You are not the clothes you wear

I have a daughter that is at the end of her 3^rd grade year.  She is on the tail end of Gen Y.  She’s also starting to turn into a young woman.  There are moments when I look at her doing something, and it’s hard to see that little girl that used to not let me put her down, or that toddler that refused to sleep unless I was holding her.  I look at her and see the woman that she is becoming- beautiful, strong, sympathetic, courageous, a deep follower of Christ.  She is the best of my wife and me, and we are very proud and thankful God blessed us with her. 

So it was with great sorrow, that walking down the aisle at a local store the other day, that I saw a woman on the front cover of a magazine, barely covering her breasts.  The magazine had headlines screaming at my daughter (and others as well) how to please their man, how to do this and how to do that.  They had articles on what clothes to wear to attract men, and tricks to keep him happy in bed.  It horrified me to see the oversexualization of our little girls confront me standing in line to pay for my groceries.  I did my best to make sure that she didn’t read the headlines, but I won’t always be there.

Having been in student ministry for over 10 years, my wife and I saw this trend a long time ago, and so we have been talking with our daughter for several years about what it means to be a woman in Christ.  We have had conversations about what’s appropriate to wear, how boys will starting talking to her and looking at her, we even have talked about when it’s ok to kiss a boy.  You may think that this is a little young to introduce these things, but it wasn’t because we initiated it.  Most of our conversations started out of something that she had seen or heard her friends talk about.

She knows that eventually boys will begin looking at body parts that right now really aren’t there.  But she also knows NOW that she can’t wear certain things (i.e. pants w/ writing on the rear end, shirts that don’t cover her stomach, bikinis) and we have ingrained in her a sense that she’s worth more than what those clothes communicate.  

Here the guidelines we use when it comes to what she’s allowed to wear (these aren’t mine, but from a friend):

1.       If you have trouble getting into or out of it, it’s probably not modest
2.       If you have to be careful sitting down or bending over, it’s probably not modest
3.       If people look at any body part before your face, it’s probably not modest
4.       If you can see your most private parts or the outline of them under the fabric, it’s probably not modest

You might be thinking that she’ll be looked at as different when she’s older, or we’ll see what happens when she hits high school.  And you may be right, but I can tell you that as we implant God’s word in her heart and life she will be like the tree growing beside a stream, a tree that produces fruit in season and always has leaves (Psalm 1:3).  She will know that her identity doesn’t come from a man or her ability to please him.  And it doesn’t come from what kind of clothes she wears; it comes from her being a child of the King.

Blessings

Bigger Problems

A recent article in the Kansas City Star reported the findings of a recent study on millennial's attitudes towards sex and marriage.  The findings of the study are very concerning (Kansas City Star article) on two levels: 

    * The amount of students who are experimenting in sexual touching and sexual intercourse

    * The amount of students who approve of non-traditional families and divorce

As I read through this article, I was shocked at the numbers.  I was shocked at the attitudes of this generation towards sex, marriage, and divorce.  But something gnawed at my insides as I read and re-read it.  Then it struck- it's not the numbers that really bothered me, it was the fact 65% of the teens surveyed believed that truth was relative.  That what may be true for me, doesn't make it true for someone else.  It's this statistic that terrifies me.

If you've ever heard the term "postmodern", this is what it means:  The only truth is that there is no truth.  To see an overwhelming majority of an entire generation believe this makes my blood run cold.  This is a slippery slope that we're on.  Once a generation is broken loose from the moorings of truth, then anything is truly possible.  When people come to the conclusion that my reality is based on my perceptions and feelings, then whatever they choose is right/wrong.  And who am I to judge?  Who are you?

As a follower of Christ, my job is not to argue the merits of Jesus, but to live out His love.  Very few see Christ (though there are some) through a debate of facts.  Most come to see Him, because of the way His followers act.  The New Testament book of Acts (Ch. 2) shows us that the early church won over thousands of converts because of the way they lived in community with one another.  They put flesh and bones on the words of Christ and it transformed the planet.

We, The Church, must once again begin living in community with one another and with the larger community around us.  We must put flesh and bones on the words of Christ in a way that shows Gen Y what the Truth really is (and WHO He is!).  We must love one another.  We must serve the poor, the orphaned, and the widowed.  We must be reading His words, imparting His thoughts to our sons and daughters, and  praying the Scriptures deep into their souls.  There is no argument more compelling, more staggering, more final- than the cross of Christ and the life altered by it.

Blessings